The Art of Self-Confidence and Identity Fraud

I am an avid Instagram user, I admit it. I love posting pictures of myself in different outfits to showcase my personal sense of style, curating an aesthetic unique to me. Even if I don’t post pictures, I still enjoy taking them as when I look at them, I see a version of myself that is cool, creative, and charismatic, but more importantly, confident and grounded. 

Sometimes, when I look at the pictures of myself that are posed and give off a confident aura, I don’t see myself. This is especially apparent during times when I feel my self-esteem has been lowered. When I see pictures of myself experiencing this, I see a different person. It almost feels like identity fraud; I know that's me, but how come in that picture I look cool, confident, and effortless? In reality I overthink and I've had my fair share of awkward moments. So how could these two versions of myself exist? Is this identity fraud?

Short answer, NO! I am still myself. I am not committing identity fraud. Although it may feel like I have two versions of myself, that is simply not the case. At times I feel confident externally, but not confident internally. And that's okay. That doesn’t mean that the confident version of myself is “fake”. That version of me came from me; MY creativity, MY style, MY personality, all of which is real and can coexist with the version of me that feels less confident at times. This aspect of self-esteem fluctuating depicts how confidence is something that you experience in moments, as it varies over time. However, to reduce these fluctuations and to maintain a more stable sense of self-confidence, it is essential that you “practice” being confident. 

How can you pretend to be something that you are not? 

Pretending to be self-confident works by altering your behaviour in a way that allows you to take up space. Whether it's asking for your picture to be taken or chiming in in a conversation, your behaviour can help shape and alter your beliefs. Studies have shown that projecting confidence can lead to genuine confidence over time due to individuals subconsciously or consciously convincing themselves of having enhanced capabilities. 

For instance, whenever you win a competition, you feel an increase in confidence that you ARE capable of winning, right? 

Likewise, when you go outside your comfort zone and expose yourself to actions/things that you think a confident person would do, you are showing yourself that you are capable of handling tough situations and showing up confidently, therefore increasing your confidence and giving yourself a better sense of self. This means doing what feels uncomfortable. Nervous about posting a picture? Just do it. Worried about going to the gym alone because you’re scared of what people think? Just do it. Exposure to these situations works by desensitizing you to fear and discomfort, allowing you to eventually show up confidently as the unfamiliar becomes familiar (Craske et al., 2014). 

The illusion of being confident works by positively reinforcing these behaviours, which causes them to be internalized over time (Cuddy et al., 2012). Over time, confidence will become a natural part of you, rather than a performance as you strengthen your self-belief (Oney & Oksuzoglu-Guven, 2015).

When does the illusion stop being an illusion?

The confidence you begin to exhibit as you push yourself outside your comfort zone and “pretend” to be confident gets reinforced. Putting up the facade of someone confident eventually causes you to BECOME confident. However, that isn’t to say that you will not have moments of self-doubt. We are all human. 

It is important to note that during times of lower self-esteem or confidence, you can still be resilient. Confidence takes time to instill within your body and mind, serving as more of a “trust the process” type of development, instead of an instant transformation. 

It is important to acknowledge that both identities can coexist; the less confident version of yourself and the version of you that feels on top of the world are the same person. In fact, research on self-efficacy suggests that individuals build confidence through repeated experiences of facing challenges and overcoming them, even when doubt is present (Bandura, 2012). Therefore, achieving self-confidence does not rely on the absence of uncertainty or elimination of fear. Rather than viewing insecurities and moments of discomfort due to self-doubt as something to be erased or a set-back, they should be viewed as opportunities for growth and to showcase resilience. 

New look, new outlook, and new confidence? This isn’t a new person or a case of identity fraud, it's still you. 

Works Cited

Bandura, A. (2012). On the functional properties of perceived self-efficacy revisited. Journal of Management, 38(1), 9–44. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206311410606

Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10–23. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006

Cuddy, A. J. C., Wilmuth, C. A., & Carney, D. R. (2012). The benefit of power posing before a high-stakes social evaluation. Harvard Business School Working Paper.

Oney, E., & Oksuzoglu-Guven, G. (2015). Confidence: A critical review of the literature and an alternative perspective. Personality and Individual Differences, 81, 15–22. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.12.008