Love is a Drug (Really!)

Love is what we all dream of, what we cherish when we truly receive it, and what we long for when it is gone. Being a major component of human interaction, love is everywhere- and with it comes tremendous amounts of emotion. Throughout history, such strong feelings have served an evolutionary purpose to motivate people to be attracted to one another, to have children, and to work together sustain new life. Thus, love is believed to be linked to improved health and well-being for both the individual, their partner, and their young.

It may be surprising to most that too much infatuation can, in fact, take a surprising turn and impact one’s life in negative ways. How could this be? Well, some may suffer with what has been dubbed love addiction. Such a term stems from the fact that there may be two distinct forms of love: mature love, which is found in long-term and healthy relationships, and falling in love, which is an addictive experience. According to the authors, when one falls in love, the reward system of the brain is triggered in a similar way as it would to alcohol and other drugs.

Although the nature of addictions and substance use disorders are fairly complex, it is important to offer basic information on such problematic topics. To begin, there are two forms of addictions that exist: substance addictions and behavioural addictions. While substance addictions may involve everything from alcohol to more illicit drug use (e.g., heroin, cocaine, etc.), non-substance addictions include behaviours such gambling and engaging in sex. In either case, addiction is considered to be a disease of the mind that transforms one’s brain chemistry overtime.

Among most addicts, the origin of such destructive tendencies stems either from the need to reduce unpleasant emotional states (e.g., stress, anxiety, etc.) or the drive to enhance a positive state (e.g., happiness). Moreover, such individuals are rarely aware of the development and potential worsening of their addictions. Although some addicts may attempt to reduce their problematic state, many rely on a variety of defense mechanisms (e.g., denial, resistance, rationalization) to avoid confronting or treating their addictions. Both forms of addiction are ultimately met with wide-ranging consequences for the health and general welfare of the individual, as well as those around them.

So where does love fit into all of this? Well, love addiction can be depicted as existing along the same spectrum as behavioural addictions. Such an addiction shares many of the same characteristics as the other forms mentioned previously, including: (a) a compromised reward system, in which the individual experiences an increase in dopamine that can become self-destructive; (b) a heightened memory of the details of one’s experiences (e.g., dating); (c) poor emotion regulation and a surge in impulsivity; (d) a fixation on an object, or, in this case, a person; and (e) withdrawal symptoms. While not as drastic as with typical substance-related addictions, the love-struck individual may feel intense stress and unease when their partner is removed from them.

Similar to other addictions, however, love can drive people to behave in maladaptive ways in order to get their ‘fix’ and combat their distress. This includes repeatedly seeking either physical, emotional, or psychological contact, regardless of financial, legal, or other consequences. Whereas an individual in a healthy romantic relationship will refrain from behaving in such a way, a love addict will pursue their person of interest no matter the repercussions.

Before people start to worry about falling in love, we must realize that euphoric states and silly behaviours are common in the early stages of romance. Love addiction, on the other hand, is considered to be a separate and rather destructive phenomenon. Thus, in order to help clarify this potential condition, the authors list specific criteria that may be used to diagnose love addiction, including: (a) impaired control, (b) disregard of the partner’s behaviour, (c) life impairment, and (d) prevention or reduction of undesirable or unbearable emotions. It is important to note, however, that this short summary only scratches the surface, as much more information can be found within the original article.

Should the reader be interested, this paper provides an in-depth analysis of the impact of addiction on the human brain and body, and how this all may be generalized to feelings of love and desire.

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Source:

• Redcay, A., & Simonetti, C. (2018). Criteria for Love and Relationship Addiction: Distinguishing Love Addiction from Other Substance and Behavioral Addictions. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 1-16.