Intrinsic Nature of Kindness
We often tend to think that kindness is a learnt response, something that you observe others doing and it catches on, but we might be able to trace it back, to before our evolution into a human species. A study by Kropotkin (1902) shows that monkeys in adjoining cases tend to share food when only one of them is provided with food and the other is given nothing. Altruism likely isn’t motivated by environmental benefits, so why do we help, even if it means the principle of reciprocity isn’t at play?
The trait of kindness is often socially propagated, culturally appreciated, and individually valued—even if it is for the two seconds that you share a smile with a passerby—behind your masks and from a safe distance. With changing ways of expression but consistent intentions, the post-pandemic era presents an opportunity to redefine the kindness that you express to others and to yourself, as in a world of fear and uncertainty, many continue to support and provide for the well-being of others. A challenging time that may become history in a few years became testament to the altruism of people all around the world.
With the Random Acts of Kindness Week, the perfect opportunity to extend that hand presents itself. Whether it may be checking in on a friend struggling with work, teaching your grandmother how to use Zoom, or starting a fundraiser! The value of an act of kindness is not in its enormity but in its intention and its effect. I mean sure, save up to donate to your favorite foundation or start a clean up drive, but even if that’s a goal that you have for the long-term, that’s okay too. The important thing to remember is to put across to people whom you know or don’t know that “Hey! I see you and I hope you have a great day” and we often tend to underestimate the value of that.
Another factor at play is our perspective of kindness. We often view it as an extrinsic action with an external outcome. While acts of kindness towards others often require behavioural expressions, the feeling of kindness is primarily internally developed. Additionally, we tend to extend benevolence to others, which we often find difficult to provide to ourselves. How often have you told a friend to take a break when they felt overwhelmed from the mountain of assignments? Maybe several times, but how often have you let yourself take a step back and take a walk to clear your head from the stress of schoolwork? Maybe not as many times.
Thus, this month, this week or even today, give yourself the opportunity to have 30-minutes of self care and don’t forget to let others cope, to help them cope because maybe they’re just waiting for someone to bump into them at the grocery aisle and tell them to have a good day.
Sources:
Kropotkin, P. (1902). Mutual aid. New York: Doubleday.
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