How Can We Avoid Social Comparisons?
Updated: Feb 28, 2023
I’m sure we’ve all heard of the sentiment, ‘Don’t compare yourself to others’, at least once in our lives. However, how many of us have actually made the conscious effort to stop our social comparisons? I, for one, have tried a few times but it's always difficult to maintain. Maybe some of you can relate when I say that trying to avoid making social comparisons on a day-to-day basis, is much more difficult than it's made out to be. Why is that? Why is it so difficult to stop ourselves from comparing ourselves to others in different aspects of our lives? Whether it be based on appearance, intelligence, material possessions, or career growth, repeatedly viewing ourselves negatively in comparison to other people can be quite harmful.
In a comparison of two studies examining the relationship between frequent social comparisons and destructive emotions/behaviours, the first study found that people who made frequent social comparisons were more likely to experience envy, guilt, regret and defensiveness (White et al., 2006). This finding, and many others like it, point to the obvious negative aspects of making social comparisons. However, it is not as easy to stop making social comparisons, than it is to make them in the first place. We often easily, and sometimes unconsciously, compare ourselves in relation to others in a negative light.
However, just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it's impossible. There are small, day-to-day steps that you can take to reduce your negative social comparisons and view yourself in a more positive light. First off, it's important that you try to practice gratitude. There are so many little things about our everyday lives that we often forget to be grateful for, and remembering them can allow us to feel more joy and gratitude for the life we are living. It doesn’t have to be very big things, it can also be small things that we tend to overlook! Next, make an attempt to focus on your own strengths. Everyone has weaknesses, but everyone also has their own strengths. When you’re thinking that someone else is better than you on the basis of their strengths, try to consider what strengths you possess and how they make you unique. Lastly, make an attempt to stop competing with others and instead compete with yourself. I don’t mean put yourself down, but start to focus more on your own goals and how you as an individual can make more attempts to be better than you were yesterday. Working on yourself, your goals, and your strengths/weaknesses, is much more productive and rewarding that working in competition with others.
Sources:
Rachel, C. (2023, January 10). How to stop comparing yourself to others. Ramsey Solutions. https://www.ramseysolutions.com/personal-growth/how-to-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others
White, J.B., Langer, E.J., Yariv, L., & Welch IV, J.C. (2006). Frequent Social Comparisons and Destructive Emotions and Behaviors: The Dark Side of Social Comparisons. Journal of Adult Development, 113(1), 36-44. 10.1007/s10804-006-9005-0
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