Fighting with Kindness, Empathy and Optimism: In Celebration of Everything Everywhere All At Once
When I first watched Everything Everywhere All At Once (EEAAO) at the theatre, I cried for an hour after watching it. To this day, it remains one of the best movies I’ve ever watched. I’m not alone in my love for this film, as it was met with widespread praise, was nominated eleven times over and won seven awards at the Oscars. In fact, it is the most awarded movie in the history of cinema. Its messages shook me to my core, and in particular, its messages of optimism and kindness from one of its characters, Waymond Wang, stood out to me. I believe that we can all benefit from a discussion of what it means to be kind, especially in face of adversity, and what that can do for our mental health.
*Spoilers ahead*
To give context, I will try to very briefly summarize the movie. In EEAAO, we are introduced to an Asian immigrant family of three: Evelyn, Waymond Wang and their daughter Joy Wang. This family is struggling. Joy has a difficult relationship with her mother Evelyn, who is unaccepting of her lesbian identity, which causes her a lot of pain. She believes that she has failed in life, and this causes her mind to fracture into different versions of herself throughout multi-universes. This brought about Jopu Tupaki, the villain of the movie. She has come to the conclusion that nothing matters and that the solution to this is to end everything and give up on everything.
On the other hand, Evelyn is struggling with her own anxiety over managing her family’s laundromat during tax season while dealing with a strict and difficult auditor from the IRS. While she does so, she also deals with her own father’s disapproval of her marriage to Waymond and her subsequent choice to immigrate to America. In the midst of all this stress and chaos, Waymond asks for a divorce. She also learns about multiverses' existence and that she is the only person who can stop Jopu Tupaki from destroying everything. It’s a lot happening all at once. However, Waymond who exists in the same universe does not seem to be doing anything to help her. She sees him as weak, and someone who could not help solve her problems alongside her. Evenlyn herself eventually succumbs to her daughter’s view of nihilism. While this brought her understanding and empathy for her daughter’s situation, it also meant that she was close to giving up.
Waymond Wang’s philosophy of kindness and optimism shines through in this backdrop of nihilism. It is easy to think that people who believe in kindness are silly, idealistic and passive. Evelyn did not appreciate his goofiness. However, Waymond Wang’s kindness does not come without the understanding that this world is cruel. He understands the stress and anxiety Evelyn is going through because of the laundromat and her struggles with parental disappointment. He understands Joy’s desire for her mother and grandfather’s acceptance, as well as her pain. He knows why Evelyn and Joy see this world as meaningless. He sees this all but chooses to use kindness and optimism as a way to deal with it all. He does this not because he is naive to life's difficulties but because he actively chooses to see the brighter side of things as a way to learn how to move forward. It gives him hope and motivation for the future. It helps him connect with others who are also struggling in life (Reecha, 2023). To quote Waymond Wang directly:
When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naïve. It is strategic and necessary. It’s how I’ve learned to survive through everything...I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight (IMDb, 2022).
And in his own way, Waymond Wang was a fighter who proactively sought to meet his needs while balancing the feelings of others. He asked for a divorce from Evelyn because he wanted a better life for himself and Evelyn, who he sees as falling out of love. He tried to smooth things over with the tax auditor; he explained that he was going through a divorce and asked for more time. The auditor, moved by their circumstances, grants the deadline. Evelyn, who wanted to fight in defence against her foes, learned from Waymond to show them kindness and empathy, which eventually led to the ‘defeat’ of Jopu Tupaki. It was empathy, acceptance and kindness that Jopu Tupaki wanted from her mother, ultimately, not the world's destruction. Waymond Wang’s way of fighting proved more effective than Evelyn's.
I believe we can all learn from Waymond Wang in this difficult world that we live in. We are facing a recession. We live in a society with inequalities. Climate change is an ever-present threat with irreversible effects. The pandemic has taken a toll on our collective wellness. All this poses significant barriers to our own wellness and mental health. It is easy to be cynical. But perhaps this is a reminder to us all that choosing hope, optimism and empathy for each other might be just what we need right now. We can all benefit from a kinder society. Research has established the myriad of benefits we can all reap from being kind to each other. Showing others acts of kindness can positively improve our subjective well-being and happiness (Curry et al., 2018). Helping others and volunteering is linked to a strong sense of belonging and connection with our communities, which can reduce our sense of isolation and improve our self-esteem (Brown et al., 2012). People who receive acts of kindness are more likely to pass along kindness to others, which can lead to a much happier society (Pressman et al., 2014).
Hopefully, this can convince you to take a kinder approach so that we can all be kinder to each other. For more information on ways to be kind to each other and ourselves, check out this guide from the Mental Health Foundation.
Sources:
Brown, K. M., Hoye, R., & Nicholson, M. (2012). Self-esteem, self-efficacy, and social connectedness as mediators of the relationship between volunteering and well-being. Journal of Social Service Research, 38(4), 468–483. https://doi.org/10.1080/01488376.2012.687706
Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., & Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320–329. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2018.02.014
IMDb.com. (2022). Everything everywhere all at once. IMDb. Retrieved February 13, 2023, from https://m.imdb.com/title/tt6710474/characters/nm0702841?ref_=tt_cl_c_3
Pressman, S. D., Kraft, T. L., & Cross, M. P. (2014). It’s good to do good and receive good: The impact of a ‘pay it forward’ style kindness intervention on giver and receiver well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 10(4), 293–302. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2014.965269
Reecha. (2023, January 17). Kindness as a weapon: An analysis of waymond from everything everywhere all at once. Medium. Retrieved February 13, 2023, from https://reechaishere.medium.com/kindness-as-a-weapon-an-analysis-of-waymond-from-everything-everywhere-all-at-once-418144f644cf
Comments