Do you have to love your body?

I’m sure many can relate to the experience of attending a family event and hearing the dreaded words of “you’re too skinny” or “you need to lose some weight” from an aunt or uncle who should definitely practice holding their tongue. Pressures to change our bodies to fit beauty standards are all around us – that the only way to exist is by fitting into size zero jeans or having delts as large as coconuts. But this seems ridiculous when we take into account how body ideals are not constant and have changed throughout history.

Body ideals are always changing

Tejani (2021a; 2021b) describes different body ideals found across time and culture. Women were expected to have: a plump body with a “rounded stomach” during the Italian renaissance, an “androgynous” and “willowy” body in the 1960s influenced by models like Twiggy, and an “athletic, tall shape with toned arms” in the 1980s “supermodel era” (Tejani, 2021a). For men, ideal body types were: “chiseled, lean, and muscular” in Ancient Greece, “lean, soft and boyish” during the Italian renaissance, and “extremely muscular” in the 1980s influenced by bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger (Tejani, 2021b). 

In my lifetime, I have witnessed the breakneck speeds at which women’s beauty standards have flip-flopped. In the 2000s, a thin and toned body was favoured. However, in the 2010s, there was a shift to an extreme hourglass shape: a small waist contrasted by a large chest and butt. This body type was popularized by influencers, like Kim Kardashian, who often underwent plastic surgery to attain this shape. At that time, it seemed like everyone was going under the knife. Getting a liposuction, Brazilian butt lift (BBL) and breast augmentation felt like the new normal. But now there are trends back in the opposite direction, favouring a more “natural” looking body that is once again thin and toned. Even Kim Kardashian appears to have stopped maintaining her BBL to keep up with new trends (Sampson, 2022).

Not the ideal body type? Expect social rejection

These ever-changing trends are perplexing but become concerning when we factor in the social rejection and backlash received from not adhering to or deviating from the ideal body. One example is Adriana Lima’s recent pregnancy. Lima is a popular Brazilian supermodel who has been envied by many around the world for her conventional attractiveness. When she did not return to her pre-pregnancy weight after giving birth in 2022, people were quick to attack her on social media. Some said that she was lazy for not being able to lose the weight and now looked like a “cow”. Others even went as far as to accuse her of getting plastic surgery as her face had changed and called it “botched”. Recently, Lima appeared at the 2024 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show with a dramatic weight loss, breaking her six-year retirement from the brand (Horon, 2024). The Daily Mail claims that Lima returned to “prove that she still has it” (Horon, 2024). Fans were pleasantly surprised and praised her on how she hadn’t aged and was still beautiful (Horon, 2024). But what if she hadn’t lost the weight? Would people still call her beautiful? And what was there to “prove”? Why as a society are we so rigid in our perception of what is beautiful? Why are we so quick to throw away empathy and kindness in the name of upholding meaningless standards? At a time when she should have been celebrated for the tiring process of bringing a new life into the world, Lima was instead berated by the public for not appearing as they desired.

Elitism of beauty standards

Those who attain the ideal body type, low body fat with some muscle, are perceived as being “healthy” and “disciplined” while those who do not are the opposite. But is this really true? Appearing to be healthy and practicing healthy habits are two separate things. When there is so much pressure to change your body as fast as possible, many are persuaded into using more drastic methods such as extreme dieting, excessive exercising and steroid usage. In addition, no matter how disciplined you might be, you can’t defy your genes. Your body type is heavily influenced by your genes, sometimes making it impossible to achieve a desired appearance (Cleveland Clinic, 2022). If body ideals do not signify health and discipline, then what do they signify? I’d argue that they signify superiority and elitism. Beauty standards are exhausting to keep up with. A majority of people do not have the time or money to get a plastic surgeon like Kim Kardashian or personal trainer like Adriana Lima. The few that do keep up with these trends are admired and put on a pedestal. The body is no longer viewed as a living, breathing organism, but an object to be molded in order to attain status. We’re all in a rat race to feel better than each other and receive admiration, but in this process we only harm ourselves, both mentally and physically. Many have realized the oddness and inequality of this reality and have started a movement against the idolization of one body type.

What is the body positivity movement?

The body positivity movement originated from activists during the civil rights movement and has recently become popular through social media. This movement is about embracing all body types and loving the body you have now. Our screens shouldn’t be dominated by only one body type, but by many. There is so much diversity in body types, so why hide it? In a study conducted on the selection of ideal body size, North American women aged 19 to 75 were told to select their ideal body from an array of bodies (Aniulis et al., 2021). When participants were shown arrays with larger bodies, they were more likely to select ideal bodies with a normal weight (BMI between 18.5 and 24.9). Embracing and seeing many types of bodies not only alleviates the stress of social pressures, but promotes healthier body image.

Sometimes positivity can be toxic

As beneficial as the body positivity movement is, it is not a one-size-fits all solution. Sometimes it is just not possible to love parts of your body as a whole. Perhaps you are unhappy because you’re not meeting your body goals. Or maybe you find it challenging to break away from body ideals that are so deeply ingrained by society. Feelings are also constantly changing, so while you may love your body now, that may not remain true in the future. “Unconditionally loving one’s body and appearance can seem unrealistic to a lot of people,” says psychologist Dr. Susan Albers (Cleveland Clinic, 2022). Thankfully, there is an alternative to body positivity: body neutrality.

How is body neutrality different?

Body neutrality is about accepting your body for what it is rather than forcing yourself to love it. It is about understanding that even if you don’t like your body, it is simply a part of you and does not define you. “Your value is not tied to your body nor does your happiness depend on what you look like” says Dr. Albers (Cleveland Clinic, 2022). Hominins evolved for millions of years for you to have the body you have today. This body is an amalgamation of different systems and organs desperately working together to keep you alive. While you may not be able to like your body itself, perhaps we can find appreciation in the life it gives to us. With this neutrality, we can escape the spiral of self-deprecation and give ourselves the space to naturally discover parts of ourselves that are worth loving.

References

Aniulis, E., Sharp, G., & Thomas, N. A. (2021). The ever-changing ideal: The body you want depends on who else you’re looking at. Body Image, 36, 218–229. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.12.003 

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, April 22). What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality? https://health.clevelandclinic.org/body-positivity-vs-body-neutrality 

Horon, S. (2024, October 16). Adriana Lima shocks fans at 2024 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show with taut face. Daily Mail Online. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-13964247/amp/adriana-lima-2024-victorias-secret-fashion-black-bikini.html 

Sampson, I. (2022, July 1). BUM DEAL Kim Kardashian getting rid of her famous bum as she ‘stops getting BBL topped up’ for surprising reason. The Sun. https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/19062917/kim-kardashian-bum-stops-bbl-pete-davidson-kanye/ 

Tejani, H. (2021a, July 19). The Evolution of Female Body Image Ideals. Dietetically Speaking. https://dieteticallyspeaking.com/the-evolution-of-male-body-ideals/ 

Tejani, H. (2021b, September 27). The Evolution of Male Body Ideals. Dietetically Speaking. https://dieteticallyspeaking.com/the-evolution-of-male-body-ideals/